101 Hilarious “What Do You Call?” Jokes That Will Have You ROTFL

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What do you call a Spanish footballer with no legs?
Gracias.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.

What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.

What do you call a walk with no legs?
A raisin.

What do you call a man with a car on his head?
Jack.

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?
Doug.

What do you call a man with no spade?
Douglas.

What do you call a woman with a limp?
Eileen.

What do you call a Chinese woman with a limp?
Irene.

What do you call a Chinese woman with a food mixer on her head?
Brenda.

What do you call a woman hanging out clothes?
Peggy.

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philippe Fillop.

What do you call a man with a hotel on his head?
Norman Tebbit.

What do you call two gay Irishmen?
William Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzwilliam.

What do you call a man with a bunch of rabbits in his arse?
Warren.

What do you call a man with a crane on his head?
Derrick.

What do you call a rooster looking at a lettuce?
Chicken Sees A Salad.

What do you call a blind deer?
No idea.

Nick Hickton what do you call a blind deer with no legs?
Still no idea.

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no penis?
Still no fucking idea.

What do you call a man wearing designer shades?
Ray Ban.

What do you call someone wearing a belt with a watch on it?
A waist of time.

What do you call a man hiding in a grandfather clock?
Justin Thyme.

What do you call a man with a 1cm long penis?
Justin.

What do you call a cow with three legs?
Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.

What do you call a man who keeps dropping things?
Ben Dover.

What do you call a man who went shopping for his wife and came back with a bike?
Infer Aboloking.

What do you call a man with a toilet on his head?
Lou.

What do you call an American with a toilet on his head?
John.

What do you call a woman with two lavatories on her head?
Lulu.

What do you call a man without any ears?
Anything you want.

What do you call a man with a car number plate on his head?
Reg.

What do call a woman who sets fire to her credit card bills?
Bernadette.

What do you call a woman juggling 3 pints of bitter?
Beatrix.

What about a woman juggling 3 pints of bitter whilst playing snooker?
Beatrix Potter.

What do you call a woman whose knickers keep falling down?
Lucy lastic.

What do you call a girl who likes meat?
Nora bone.

What do you call a dog with no legs?
Anything you like as he wont come.

What do you call a girl standing in a goal?
Annette.

What do you call a pair of nuts on you wall!?
Walnuts.

What do you call a pair of nuts on your chest?
Chestnuts.

What do you call a pair of nuts on your chin?
Fellatio.

What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lilly.

What do you call someone who as seen an iPhone robbery?
An iWitness

What do you call a Spanish man who has lost is car?
Carlos.

What do you call a man with a plank of wood on his head?
Edward.

What do you call a man with two planks of wood on his head?
Edward Wood.

What do you call a man with three planks of wood on his head?
Edward Woodward.

What do you call a man with four planks of wood on his head?
I don’t know, but Edward Woodward would.

What do you call a pig that can do Karate?
A pork chop.

What do you call a couple who thieve from lingerie shops?
Knickers.

What do you call a man with a lump of pork on his head?
Ḥāmed.

What do you call a man with two lumps of pork on his head?
Mohammad.

What do you call an avocado that’s been blessed by the pope?
Holy Guacamole.

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.

What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay?
A bagel.

What do you call a woman with a bunch of holly on her head?
Carol.

What do you call a woman with a cat on her head?
Kitty.

What do you call a man with a map on his head?
Miles.

What do you call a man with some cat scratches on his head?
Claude.

What do you call a man with a stamp on his head?
Frank.

What do you call a woman with a breeze on her head?
Gail.

What do you call a woman with a tortoise on her head?
Shelley.

What do you call a man with a legal document on his head?
Will.

What do you call a man with a legal document on his head?
Will.

What do you call a man who with a coat on his head?
Mac.

What do you call a man who with two coats on his head?
Max.

What do you call a man who can’t stand?
Neil.

What do you call a judge with no thumbs?
Justice Fingers.

What do you call a gay dinosaur?
Megasoreass.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep?
Matt.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?
Art.

What do you call the just the arms and legs of a man hanging on the wall?
Pieces of Art !!!

What do you call a woman with no arms and legs in a frying pan?
Patty .

What do you call a leper in a hot tub?
Stu.

What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
Full.

What do you call a girl with a sunlamp on her head?
Tanya.

What do you call a girl with a laptop on her head?
Adell.

What do you call a man who’s not religious?
Godfrey.

What do you call a man with an elephant on his head?
An ambulance.

What do you call a woman sitting in a bath of Martini?
Olive.

What do you call a woman sitting on a loaf of bread?
Marge.

What do you call an epileptic man in a pile of leaves?
Russel.

What do you call a pony with a cough?
A little horse.

What do you call a Jedi with one arm?
Hand Solo.

What do you call a factory that sells OK products?
A satisfactory.

What do you call Lassie with a rose in her mouth?
A cauliflower.

What do you call a Vicar with a moped on his head?
Rev.

What do you call a Sikh trapeze artist?
Balan Singh.

What do you call a law student who tries to sue himself?
Self tort.

What do you call the fear of getting stuck in a chimney?
Santaclaustrophobia.

What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.

What do you call a group of killer whales playing musical instruments?
An Orcastra.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
A stick.

What do you call a policeman in bed?
An undercover detective.

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.

What do you call one cow spying on another?
A steak out.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a swimming pool?
Bob.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in a swimming pool with a monastery on his head?
Bob Monkhouse.

What do you call two men standing by a window?
Curt ‘n’ Rod.

What do call a man with no arms or legs on a podium?
Mike.

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no torso?
Dick.

What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs going down the river?
Flo.

What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs on the beach?
Sandy.