Bob’s Bookmaker Dad Has A New Apprentice

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It was halfway through the English lesson when Miss Davies decided to test her class on spelling. “I want everyone to tell me what their fathers do for a living and then spell it out to me. Jonny, what does your Dad do?” she said.

“He’s a farmer, Miss.” says Jonny.

“OK, spell that, please.” says Miss Davies.

“F-A-R-M-E-R.” says Jonny.

“Well done Jonny. Now Bob, how about you?” says Miss Davies.

“He’s a police constable, Miss.” says Bob.

“Very well. Please spell that out.” says Miss Davies.

“P-O-L-I-C-E C… U… ” says Bob.

“No, try again.” says Miss Davies.

“C-U-S—” says Bob.

“No, no, you’ll have to think carefully about this. Go and practise in your book. Who’s next? Oh yes, Colin. What does your father do?” says Miss Davies.

“He’s a bookmaker, Miss.” says Colin.

“Now can you spell that for me please?” says Miss Davies.

“No” says Bob. “But I can give you 5–4 odds that Bob writes ‘cunt’ in his book.”