An old priest was getting fed up with the number of people in his parish who were confessing to adultery. One Sunday in the pulpit, he announced "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’m quitting!"
The village local doctor was asked to give a talk on sex education to the girls at the local high school. Knowing his wife was a bit of a prude, he told her he was speaking on hot-air ballooning.
Mickey Mouse is in the divorce courts and the Judge says "Well Mr Mouse, just because you say your wife has big teeth, it doesn't mean you can divorce her."
The nursery school children were now in their first year of primary school. Their teacher wanted them to be more grown up since they were no longer in nursery. She told them to use grown up words instead of baby words.
My mate Jack walked into his local pub, ordered a double scotch and moaned to the barman. "An irate husband has written to me, threatening to have me killed unless I stop screwing his wife."
Mary's mother drags eight year old Jonny home by the scruff of his neck and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight year old daughter.