Don’t Turn The Lights On Darling

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Once there was a couple who had been married for over 20 years and the husband stubbornly refused to have sex with his wife unless they turned the lights off first.

The wife, most frustrated by this and thinking that after 20 years they should know each other well enough to do it with the lights on, resolved one night to put an end to her husband’s ridiculous bedroom antics.

As they were in the middle of having sex one night, she suddenly reached over and switched the light on. She was flabbergasted to see that her husband had a huge cucumber in his hand. She was devastated and became hysterical, shouting and screaming at him “You sad excuse for a man! You impotent little toe-rag! How could you? You have lied to me for 20 years! You’ve got some explaining to do, right now!”

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says, cool as you like “No problem darling. I’ll explain why I used the cucumber if you can explain why we’ve got three children?”