National Health Service Reform


As part of her campaign to reform the National Health Service, Theresa May was making a surprise inspection of a provincial Hospital. She was nervously received by the director and the senior medical staff. During the inspection they passed in front of a room where a man was vigorously masturbating himself. Theresa immediately asked what was going on. The director replied gravely “This poor man is afflicted with a very rare illness which causes an important accumulation of sperm in his testicles. He is in for a remedial operation that will take place tomorrow morning. In the meantime he is required to masturbate regularly to relieve the atrocious pain that this rare illness provokes.”

“Oh dear me, I quite understand” said Theresa and they continued the inspection. Following a few lame excuses concerning dirty floors, staffing levels and the length of queues of waiting patients, they passed by another room,where a man was lying back receiving a blow job from a topless nurse. “Wow! Now what’s going on here?” asked Theresa.

The director thought quickly and again gravely replied “This patient has exactly the same thing as the other poor chap we saw earlier. But this one is a private patient”.

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