Pregnant Glaswegian Woman

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A Glasgow woman dials 999 and requests an ambulance. The operator enquires as to the nature of the emergency. The woman replies that she is pregnant. “Madam” says the operator, “You can’t have an ambulance just because you are pregnant.”

“Aye I know” says the woman “but ma waters have broken!”

“Oh right, well that’s a different matter” says the operator “Where are you ringing from?”

The woman replies “Fae ma fanny tae ma feet!”