One day two brothers, Jack and Jim, decided to go out diving for seafood. After filling the first sack, Jack took it back to shore to grab a replacement, but while Jim was left alone out at sea, he suddenly spotted a shark swimming towards him. Jim frantically called out to his brother "Jack, help me! There’s a shark heading straight for me!" Jack called back ‘OK, I’m coming bruv."
Jim was freaking out as the shark swam right up to him and bit off his left leg. Again he called out to Jack, who was still at the shoreline. "Jack, quick! Come and help me now, the shark’s bitten off one of my legs!"
Jack yelled back "Hold on bruv, I’m coming straight away."
Jim tried to stay calm and wait for his brother but then the shark bit off his left arm. He shouted to Jack "For crying out loud Jack, hurry up! Please come and help me! The shark has bitten off my arm as well now!"
Jack called back "Yup, hold on Jim, I’m coming, I'm coming!"
Then the shark bit off Jim’s right leg. Jim screamed "For fuck sake Jack, you have to come and save me right now! The bastard shark has now bitten off both my legs and my arm!’
Jack called back "Just wait, I’m coming. I'm getting in the water right now."
Just then, the shark then bit off Jim’s other arm. Now Jim had no arms or legs. Jim as bobbing around in the blood soaked water while he waited for his brother to rescue him. Jack finally arrived to save Jim. "Come on bruv" said Jack. "Get on my back and I’ll swim you back to shore."
Jack swam back to the shore, wading through the surf as they reached the beach. When they finally made it back to the shore, Jack laid down his brother and said with an exhausted sigh "Phew, I feel shagged." Jim replied "Sorry Jack, I had to hold on somehow!"