My mate Eric went to a busy restaurant and sat down at the only empty table. As he sits down, he accidentally knocks the dessert spoon off the table with his elbow. The waiter immediately produces a spoon from his pocket and places it on the table.
Eric, very impressed by the promptness of the service asks “Do all the waiters carry a spoon in their pockets?”
The waiter answers “Well, we had an efficiency expert evaluate our operation and he calculated that 25% of the customers knock the spoon off their tables. By carrying a spare spoon in our pocket, it saves us a trip to the kitchen, dictating we are much more efficient.”
Later on, as the waiter places the ice cream dessert in front of him, the customer remarks “Excuse me waiter, but I must ask. Why do you have a string hanging from your flies?”
The waiter answered “Ah, the efficiency expert also determined that we were spending too much time washing our hands after we went to the toilet. So the other end of this string is attached to my penis and when I go to the toilet, I simply use the string. Never having touched myself, I don’t need to wash my hands.”
As the customer tucks into his dessert, he asks in between mouthfuls “That’s most ingenious, but how do you get your penis back into your trousers if you can’t touch it?”
The waiter replies “I don’t know about the other waiters, but I always use the spoon.”